My new sigfile: The information

My new sigfile:

The information contained in this communication is intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed[1] and others authorized to receive it[2]. It may[3] contain confidential or legally privileged[4] information. If you are not the intended recipient[5] you are hereby notified that any disclosure[6], copying[7], distribution[8] or taking any action in reliance on the contents[9] of this information is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful[10]. If you have received this communication in error[11], please notify us immediately by responding to this email[12] and then delete it from your system[13]. OpenCola is neither liable for the proper and complete transmission of the information contained in this communication[14] nor for any delay in its receipt.[15]

[1] Unless it’s something funny that I found on a blog and I’m just forwarding it

[2] I.e. Just about anyone

[3] Or not

[4] IANAL. But I *am* an ordained Minister of the Universal Life Church. So while you don’t get no attorney privilege with me, you may be able to claim some kind of confessor confidentiality. Step into the box and tell me your sins!

[5] I.e., Just about anyone

[6] Except to your SMTP host

[7] Except to your hard-drive as part of your mail-spool

[8] Except from your SMTP host to your mail-spool

[9] I.e., Helping Nigerian generals launder their fortunes, sending postcards to possibly fictitious dying British children, or forwarding bogus but terribly urgent virus warnings

[10] Hey, everything’s illegal somewhere!

[11] In other words, if *I* made a mistake, I plan on somehow coercing *you* into doing something about it

[12] Send all such notice to our special “oops” account:

[13] Also, please write random bits to every sector on your drive seven times, dissolve your RAM with sulfuric acid, gouge your eyes out and get a prefrontal lobotomy

[14] Our server has been having problems with overlong .sigs lately

[15] There is no fifteenth footnote