A New Times of LA reporter decided to make some news by stalking SUV drivers and slipping haranguing cards under their windsheilds:

“Road-Hogging, Gas-Guzzling, Air-Fouling Vulgarian! Clearly you have an extremely small penis, or you wouldn’t drive such a monstrosity. For the adequately endowed, there are hybrids or electrics. 310-798-1817.”

The number yeilds further SUV abuse and the opportunity to respond. The responses weren’t nearly as funny as the card, though:

I just want you to know that my penis is huge. It is really, really, really big. And I bitterly resent that insult to my precious manhood.

Hello, psycho! We should all be driving hybrids or electrics or little Honda Civics with hatchbacks, but you don’t know how half of us came about having our cars. I can’t just get rid of this car I have. And it’s not a new SUV, OK, so screw off. And worry about yourself.

Hey, I received one of your cards saying that I’m a really creepy person for driving a big V8 engine and let me tell you, it’s people like you that really make me want to pollute even more. Actually, I can’t wait to go home and just get all the batteries I’ve saved for the last several years — just dump them into the ocean — and just drop cans at random in nature. And when I go hiking just drop all my plastic and nonbiodegradables and Saran Wrap. I mean, I just want to pollute as much as possible because of idiots like you.

Link Discuss (Thanks, Vanessa!)