Stefan Jones sent this to me:

Rumors that it’s a hoverbike or glorified scooter are just noise. ITs real powers are almost beyond belief:

IT . . . cleaned out the monkey cages in the Bronx Zoo before the inhabitants could even take aim.

IT . . . elminates toe jam.

IT . . . solved Fermat’s Lost Theorem during its first POST.

IT . . . emits a pleasant hum that neuters mosquitors for miles around.

IT . . . triples the gas efficiency of SUVs and prevents rollovers.

IT . . . amuses the most hyperactive of children on rainy days.

IT . . . is approved by both the Red Communist Chinese and the inhabitants of Freeland.

IT . . . is the chum of the cat inside your mouth.

IT . . . plays cards with elderly Romainian lepers while regenerating their lost fingers and toes.

IT . . . knows the score.