Memoir of a woman cleaning out the amazingly filthy, poorly maintained house she’s just bought.

I also cleaned out the light fixture above the oven, which hadn’t been working heretofore. It was full of DEAD GRASSHOPPERS. I kid you not. I put together a Visible Grasshopper model when I was a girl, and I know what one looks like!

Roaches of every size, and some of them even had wings! Bishop got a shovel and started helping me excavate. There was a layer of foam rubber, a layer of carpet, and layers and layers of bubble wrap (all crawling with cockroaches), and then a very large Mylar bag sealed up with duct tape and containing Something.

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