A new book collects all the religious aphorisms from The Simpsons in The Gospel According to the Simpsons.

How God appeared in a dream: “Perfect teeth. Nice smell. A class act all the way.”

The family religion: “You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don’t work in real life. Uh, Christianity.”

Church signboard slogan: “God Welcomes His Victims.”

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