Aaaaaaaaaah! THEY CLOSED THE CAROUSEL OF PROGRESS!

The very finest Disney attraction to be retired to the Parks after the 1964 World’s Fair, gone without a trace. Disappeared off of the guidemaps and chalk-boards. Gone, gone, gone. I guess that now is no longer the best time of our lives, and there is no great, big, beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of this day.

For my money, there is no better place to while away half an hour on a muggy Orlando afternoon that seated in the revolving theatre, watching a robot pimp the benefits of GE’s gizmos. Repeated viewings of this ride likely account for my gadget obsession, as GE’s paeons to the wonders of technology were burned right into my brain.

A couple years ago, they renovated the Carousel at WDW to restore it to something very like the original World’s Fair show, and added a pre-show with video of Walt and songwriting gods the Sherman Brothers singing the theme, “There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow!” Alas, they didn’t restore Progressland, the giant diorama of a prototype city of tomorrow that Walt later proposed to build in Florida (that vision was stripped down and turned into Epcot Center and the planned community Celebration).

Here’s some of the choicest dialogue from the Progressland voice-over:

[Mother]
Everything you see in Progress City is possible today in any city. Even where you live. We have all the latest all electric ideas to help cities look better. And to make them better places to live and work in.

[Father]
Take our transportation. It’s a coordinated electric system.

[Mother]
I just love getting around in my own little transporter.

[Father]
And we have other electric vehicles. In fact the heart of Progress City’s transportation is our rapid transit system that’s controlled by computers. I get to work in half the time on a high-speed electric train. Sure beats traffic jams.

[Dog]
Growwwl!

[Father]
Take it easy, Sport.

He’s complaining because electric vehicles are so quiet.

[Mother]
Going shopping is simply a breeze too. And getting there is only half the fun. Today our whole downtown is completely enclosed. Whatever the weather is outside, it’s always dry and comfortable inside.

[Father]
General Electric calls it a climate controlled environment. But Mother calls it…

[Mother]
A sparkling jewel. Now far off to your right, we have a welcome neighbor…

[Father]
Our GE nuclear power plant, dear. And next door, is Industrial Park which really looks more like…

[Mother]
Like an attractive city park, thanks to beautiful lighting and landscaping.

[Father]
And speaking of parks, outdoor lighting has added hours to our recreation time. We have night lighted stadiums, ball fields, golf courses, we even have our own amusement park.

[Mother]
It’s not exactly Disneyland, but it is clean and bright and lots of fun.

[Father]
Mother, it’s time for Grandma and Grandpa to take off.

[Mother]
That could be their jet now, dear.

[Father]
Look at it go! And imagine how convenient air travel will be in the future. Maybe then…

[Mother]
Maybe then, we’ll do the traveling.

[Dog]
Growwwl!

[Father]
Now calm down, Sport. We’ll always come back to Progress City. And we hope you folks will come back too. But right now, it’s time to go. Remember…

[Mother]
Everything you’ve seen here in our all electric city is really possible today.�

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