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Just when you thought Fox News couldn’t get any better, they go and publish an insane op-ed called “The War On Men” (Really babe? A war? Like with real guns and stuff? Or just with angry women yielding tampons?) that makes you smack your forehead in delightful frustration. After publishing this piece, I’m sure everyone at Fox News did a happy jig and yelled, “YEAH, BITCH. WE STILL GOT IT!!! Who wants to go to Guy Fieri’s new restaurant in Times Square to celebrate the imminent page views?”

Writer Al Bundy, oops I mean Suzanne Venker, posits that modern women are having trouble finding a dude to marry them these days because, um, they’re not women anymore! What do you mean, Suzanne? Are you inferring that women have somehow lost their vaginas during the commute to their high-powered jobs?  According to Venker, women are now being raised with a certain level of hostility towards men and that needs to stop ASAPular! She also says that men don’t want to compete with women. They just want to go to work and provide for them in exchange for some home cooked meals and late night back tickles. WHY, OH WHY, CAN’T WOMEN JUST LET THEM DO THAT? STOP WORKING AND WANTING TO DO THINGS WITH YOUR LIVES. Don’t they realize that they’re just making it that much harder for themselves? After all, who’s going to want to marry a chick with a 401k? Dealbreaker!